I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize