I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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