you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
