He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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