i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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