2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
