My hand turned me down
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
