clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
