So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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