This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
