i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
