When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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