I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
