Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
