is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
