that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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