make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
