I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize