I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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