Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
