I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
