Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
