the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
