we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
