they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
