Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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