one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
