Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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