So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
