There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
