there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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