I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
