All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
