the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize