I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
