i think i have herpe
just one?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize