i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
