I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
