Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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