sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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