If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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