I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
