I CAN MOONWALK!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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