idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
