I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
