please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize