I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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