Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
