dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
These tits shall not be calmed
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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