my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
