Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
