She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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