Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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