So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Randomize
