Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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