There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
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