She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
