What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize