How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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