dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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