my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
